


Sev's Sexy

by elvirakitties



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crazy Harry, Implied Slash, M/M, Sexy Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-12-31 13:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvirakitties/pseuds/elvirakitties





	1. Chapter 1

Severus stared. He knew he wasn't the only one. "Harry!"

"What? Look at how hot he is." Harry waved his hand in the direction of Voldemort, who was standing there with his trousers down around his ankles, with his black boxers showing.

"I told you to wear a belt. You know how he is." Severus marched up to the Dark Lord. "I put your belt on the bed after I removed those boxers from the bed." He faced Harry. "Don't even think of it."

"What? You look hot in yours too." Harry smirked, as the image of Severus in his black boxers appeared in his mind. "Besides, putting on these duels is getting boring. I rather just take you both back home, shag you into the mattress, while Lucius and the others deal with the clean-up."

"Never should have allowed you to discover the joys of sex before we got rid of Dumbledore." Voldemort pulled up his trousers. "Don't Harry, we have to end the war."

"I think it's over." Harry strolled over to them. All around them the Order and students of Hogwarts were in shock. The Death Eaters, used to their leaders' antics, started stunning members of the Order. "Hey, make sure someone puts the magic suppressor bracers on Dumbledore." Harry twirled the Elder wand in his hand.

"When did you do that?" Voldemort eyed the wand, his eyes went bigger as he realized Harry was now the Master of Death.

Harry laughed. "On our way out. It was the reason I was delayed in arriving. Had to memory charm the old goat, hit him with an Imperio to get him to come out here."

"That's illegal." Granger yelled out. "Harry James Potter, you used an Unforgivable."

"Duh." Harry turned around and faced those he called friends. He cast a Silencio on Granger.

"Harry." Severus shook his head.

"Severus you must do something. You can't allow this to continue." Minerva seemed to recover.

"Me? Do you know how hard it is to keep these two sane? I am just thankful they think I am sexy."

"We do." Voldemort leered at Severus' butt. "Wonderful view."

"The thing he can do with his tongue ought to be outlawed, not those stupid curses." Harry pulled Severus into his arms. "I won't even mention his-"

Severus kissed Harry to shut him up. The young man seemed to find Severus' rear one of his best features. "He can kiss." Voldemort waited until the kiss broke apart and pulled Severus to him, giving him a searing kiss.

"My eyes, my eyes." Weasley yelled, as his sister started screaming. "No, not my Harry. He is mine." Lucius rolled his eyes and bound the two Weasleys.

Harry and Voldemort stopped tormenting Severus as the Minister of Magic was forced to stand in front of them. "See, I told you he was back." He faced Voldemort. "He never believed me. Shame, if he had, we could have gotten rid of him and Umbitch sooner."

"True, I wasn't about to let anyone know I was back before hand. Though I have to say, we did cut it close at the Ministry."

"Dumbledore almost blew it for us. He loves to chat almost as much as you do in a battle." Harry hadn't released Severus yet.

"Can we wrap this up? I have a potion brewing."

"I think we are done." Voldemort looked around, his Death Eaters had everyone either bond or wandless. "Let the students return to their dorms. Lucius will be in charge for now."

Harry didn't wait for confirmation before he grabbed Voldemort and apparated the three of them back to Slytherin Castle.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> backstory

"Severus." 

"Mmm." Severus didn't look up. He wasn't even aware of anyone in the room. 

"Severus, are you listening to me?" Narcissa's foot was tapping. Lucius wisely stayed quiet. He had been having a drink and reading his latest mystery novel. The Death Eaters were in the main sitting room playing poker.

"Mmmm." Severus was clearly in a world of his own. He was proofreading his latest research paper. He needed to have it done by the end of the month to get it into the magazine.

"Severus Tobias Snape!"

Severus looked at Narcissa, glanced towards Lucius for some help in whatever his wife was annoyed at. "What?" He had come here to get away from being annoyed and interrupted as he knew Harry would be off with Voldemort, who was teaching Harry the finer art of torture. He hoped Harry wasn't too hyper. He would have to give Harry something to settle him down. Did he have a potion made? Maybe a light sleep potion? Not addictive, and his so-called friends would expect it.

"Have you been listening to me?"

"You were talking?" Severus hadn't even realized they were in the same room as him. He had thought Narcissa and Lucius were in the sunroom. He had refused to join the poker game. 

"Yes, to you." Narcissa had her wand out. "Merlin, what is so important that you couldn't even listen to me?"

"No, no, no, no hexing my Sev." Harry summoned Narcissa's wand. "You can play with Dung. He's learning why it's bad to steal from the Black family." Harry had discovered that Dung had been helping himself to the Black family silver and other associated items. Harry was a firm believer in teaching thieves a lesson. 

"What did you want, Cissy?" Severus looked around her to see Harry handing Narcissa's wand to Lucius. Lucius had been on the receiving end of Narcissa's hexes before. He was thankful Harry stopped her from hexing him. 

"I wanted to find out what color you wanted your robes to be, but since you weren't paying attention, I was thinking pink, a nice bright neon pink. Something I'm sure Dumbledore would enjoy." 

"Pink? Pink for what? Why is Dumbledore wearing pink again? Did someone die? One of his Order members?" Voldemort entered the room. "Harry, I need the list of Order members who watched your relatives' house." Voldemort wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. "I will have Fenrir get the wolf." 

"No pink, Cissy, and no, you two aren't killing his relatives or Order members, at least until after we deal with Dumbledore. I really don't want to listen to him whine."

"He would. He would us that we must be safe lecture. Followed by making sure I'm never alone, always protected, and how it's for the greater good." Harry made a retching sound. "He might even stop me from going to Hogsmeade." He wasn't going to miss his Hogsmeade weekends. It was when he got to take Severus out in public.

"Which we need to head back to Hogwarts soon, or he will wonder about this latest detention." Severus stood up. "Wait, why are you asking about clothes? I have plenty of robes, I even bought formal ones this past summer." He had already put his research into his inside front robe pocket.

"Why pink clothes is the more important question." Harry stepped away from Voldemort, who pouted a bit. "He is right, we do need to head back. Just a few more months." 

"Why for your bonding robes." The four men in the room dropped their jaws. Lucius recovered first but kept his mouth closed. He wasn't about to try and prevent his wife from planning a bonding ceremony. He learned the hard way, you don't stop Narcissa from matchmaking.

"How about we ask each other first?" Harry finally recovered. "Not that it wasn't going to happen, but I wouldn't mind seeing Sev in some nice muggle jeans. Show off his-"

"Enough of that." Severus' face had a slight pink blush. He was never going to get used to the two them and their compliments on his body. It had been a year, shortly after Harry's sixteenth birthday, that Harry had first kissed him. He remembered how Harry said his voice was soothing, while his eyes were like the finest chocolate. Yes, yes, he was a sap. He knew it. 

"But you would look so hot. I know those boxers really showed-" 

"That goes for you too." Severus noticed Narcissa and Lucius trying not to laugh. They had to deal with Bella and this was mild compared to what they most like heard and seen that couple did together. He was still trying to figure out why Bella needed a...nevermind. He needed to think of Dumbledore.

"Oh, don't think of him. He kills any desire what so ever." Harry felt sick. "Dumbledork...I feel sick. It's almost as bad as that red-hair menace and know-it-all being together." 

"Now you know how I feel when I see Slutty trying to sit in your lap." Severus did smirk a bit as the last time the girl did it, Harry set her skirt on fire. He didn't miss the shivers of revulsion that went through Harry and Voldemort thinking of Weaslette. That always brought him so much pleasure. 

"I thought she was with someone named Thomas? Didn't Pansy mention that?" Narcissa received all the latest gossip from Pansy.

"He is the flavor of the week." Harry pulled Severus to him. "No pink." He kissed Severus and licked his ear, whispering "unless it's in the bedroom and I get to remove it from you." 

"You need to go, or I won't let you." Voldemort walked with Severus and Harry to the floo. "Be careful, and I will see you tomorrow night."

"Yes, I believe detention for being out after curfew will work." Severus saw it was almost curfew now. "In a few months, it will be over." 

"I will keep Narcissa from pink robes."


End file.
